Bringing Your SO Home For the Holidays? 7 Tips For Having Sex in Your Parents' House
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Picture this: families reuniting, cozy nights around board games and fireplaces, reminiscing on favorite traditions, and sleeping in your old twin bed. But it's also the time of year to bring your partner back home with you for the holidays. Whether you've been together for a few months or a few years, you always want to make a good impression. But just because your grandparents are sleeping in the next room doesn't mean you have to be celibate all Winter break.
Depending on your sleeping arrangements, it might be a little tricky. You and your partner just have to get creative, and there are plenty of ways to be intimate without your family hearing you or walking in on you (an actual nightmare). Keep reading for a few tips to get you through your family time while still getting it on with your SO.
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Lock the Door
This may seem really simple and obvious, but when you're in the heat of the moment, you can forget the most basic of things. Just make sure you use a room that comes with a lock, and if your bedroom doesn't have one, put something up against the door to make sure it won't budge just in case a family member comes looking fo you. This may not be the best idea if you're looking to be subtle, but it is the most obvious answer.
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Wait It Out
This may be another obvious one, but if you're feeling a little uncomfortable about doing anything when someone else is in the house, it may be best to wait. You and your partner should kindly skip the trip to the grocery store or family walk in favor of a few minutes of alone time. You can also wait until everyone goes to bed for the night and use the basement or a downstairs room.
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Turn Up That Music
I'm guilty of this one, and I have to say that it can work like a charm. One of your biggest concerns might be the, um, loud noises you and your partner make, but if you crank those holiday tunes a little bit louder, all your family will suspect is that you're having a good time. Plus, music might make it a little more fun.
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Take a Shower Together
Shower sex was invented for a reason! Have to make it to dinner by 6 p.m.? No worries — just grab your SO, hop in the shower, and you'll be clean (after getting dirty, of course) and ready to go in time. Bonus: the noise of the water will drown out everything else.
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Do a Little Redecoration
If you're anything like me, your childhood bedroom might still be covered with One Direction posters. Use redecorating as an excuse for you and your SO to spend some time alone in your bedroom. Put up a few holiday lights, light a candle, take down the posters (it's time), and hop into bed.
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Keep the Clothes On
Make it a contest: who can orgasm with the most amount of clothes on? Could be fun, could be a disaster, but at least you know when your parents come knocking you'll be prepared instead of fully naked.
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Don't Forget to Clean Up
No parent wants to come across a condom while taking out the trash for their loving child. Do them a favor and dispose of the evidence properly and immediately.